Below is a great guest blog post from writer, trivia player, and beer connoisseur Jordan Zeilinger! You can follow Jordan at BS and Craft Beer for more hoppy times.
What Your Beer Says About You
With the craft beer scene increasing significantly over the past two decades, it’s easier than ever before to find a local brewery close to your home. But what if you aren’t familiar with the vast styles of beer that will be offered to you? Here is a quick reference guide to what that beer you just ordered says about you!
Pilsner, Lager, or Golden Ale
“I want to try something other than Bud Light, but don’t trust any beer that isn’t translucent.”
You can tell people you are drinking an IPA without actually having to drink an IPA. What they don’t know what hurt them.
When you still believe Blue Moon is the pinnacle of the craft brewery industry.
The correct response to your first encounter with an IPA should be: “this tastes like a sweaty gym sock, but I’m going to keep drinking it until I acquire a taste for it.” This is the ultimate test of a person’s dedication to beer.
New England Hazy IPA
When a regular IPA just isn’t pretentious enough for you.
It’s two IPA’s in one?!?! What bang for your buck!
When you really want to get drunk, but also want to be fancy.
How can I justify drinking beer before noon on a weekday? It has coffee in the title, so that should suffice.
I only eat dark chocolate that was humanely sourced from fair trade markets.
Sometimes you just want to drink a glass of juice a few months past it’s expiration date.
How can I get my beer to taste like hard alcohol while also wrecking my taste buds for the next 12 hours?
You know those spice cakes during the holidays that everyone throws away? Well, I actually like those.
I am racist.
I am also racist.
You probably watch a lot of Family Guy and South Park – giggidy.
I enjoyed putting pennies in my mouth as a child.
Oh, you’re too fancy for a Red Ale, huh?
I enjoy math, and until there is a Quintdrupel, this is what I drink.
When everyday is Saint Patrick’s Day.
Double Chocolate Peanut Butter Milk Stout
You really want dessert.
Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout
When you are so bored with beer, you need to add bull testicles to keep that spark alive.
All joking aside, there are a lot of awesome styles of beer out there. All of these – minus the Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout – have their merit, and are contingent on preference. Whatever you drink, just be sure to drink it responsibly!
For more on Jordan Zeilinger, check out his blog BS and Craft Beer. Cheers!